Second Try Today

Well, I wrote a detailed and erudite post about the trials and tribulations of being a foster parent earlier today but something happened and it was all lost. Second tries are never as good, so I'll just pretend like it never happened and make another post for the first time.

So, last night Aimes went an picked up one of our new foster placements. There are two ways to go about dealing with transitioning foster kids. Our last long term placement (Kayla and Carly) was followed by almost two months with no kids. It was terribly difficult for me because I was so attached to them. I missed them so much when they were gone and the feeling of no longer being a dad was gut wrenching. I still miss them at odd times, they were our first *real* placement and I don't know if I'll ever really get over them being gone. I know that they're better off and probably a lot happier, but I still miss them something fierce. Sometimes when I'm driving I'll think about some silly thing Kayla would say or some goofy face Carly would make and it makes me cry. I can only imagine it will be worse when Mariah and Mercedes leave if only because they're so young. So this time, instead of worrying about going months with no kids we have acquired a new placement before the girls leave. In a way, I am afraid this is gonna rob us of some of our last real loving moments with them but in other ways I think it will help us to transition them. So back to the story, Aimee went and picked Jalen (8 months) and brought him home yesterday afternoon. I was greeted with his little smiling face when I got home from work and Maria and Merc were so darn excited to have a baby in the house. We were talking and, SURPRISE, older brother was getting dropped off a little later. My oh my, did we have a night in store for us. Older brother is Myrie (20 months) and is about where Mardog was when we got her developmentally speaking. He is a big boy though! Taller than Mariah now and strong as an ox. Mariah keeps calling him Taylor too, which is cute because that's what she calls Tyler, the other boy she knows from church. Very cute! Well, needless to say, thank GOODNESS Justin and Brittany live here! Having Brit here is like having another mom in the house, and Justin is amazing with kids despite what he thinks. He freaking sat in a chair today for an hour watching beauty and the beast with Jalen and Mercedes. It was cute.

Anyways, the day is over (mostly) and the kids are all in bed. 4 freaking kids1 The house is still somewhat in one piece as I worked hard all day to keep up with them. They're all good kids but this first week is gonna be really sketchy as they all try to figure out what they can get away with and how they will manage to carve out a piece of our attention for themselves. All in all, it's a blessing and we're really happy they're here! Poor Mariah is the one that it is hitting the hardest I think, she is used to being the youngest and getting all the attention and now there are 2 smaller than her and she is sort of the older kid. She peed her pants twice today which I'm sure is an attention getting ploy. Mercedes was a great girl all day long, she is actually a big help, but lost control at the end of the day and threw a tantrum.

Sigh, just one more thing, I think the pressure finally got to me a little bit at the end of the night and I got locked up the way I used to when I couldn't get my words out. It was actually kind of funny because I couldn't stop stuttering until Aimee asked me if I was stuttering and I yelled shut up to her, and then went right back to trying to say what I was saying before and still couldn't get it out. It was sort of like, "mmm...m...mmmm....mmmmmmmm....mmmmmaaaa...SHUT UP....mmmmm....mmmmmm....mmmmmmatress"

Kind of funny, but I am a little concerned because it has literally been at least a decade since that happened to me. Pray for me!

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