G'Night all

Well this was a strange day. Interestingly enough, it ended with a wonderful phone conversation with my pops. He really is amazing, he continues to inspire me. I love you daddy-o.

The ultrasound was really, really strange. I'm not sure what to make of it or when I'll find out any info about the results but I'll be sure to let everyone know.

G'night.

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Posted in: family,florida,friends

So, it's been a few days...

Well, it's been an interesting few weeks. As you know, Aimee and I have been trying to have a baby for a REALLY long time. In fact, we've pretty much been trying continuously for our entire marriage (6 years this month). Well, we went to a fertility doctor to try and figure out whether or not something medical was preventing it from happening or if it was just incredibly bad luck.

Let me preface this by saying that Aimee and both have the utmost faith that God will give us a baby if He wants us to have one. We have known since we were dating, really, that we would foster/adopt many children through the course of our marriage. I have known since I was a young boy that there was a chance that I would have trouble in this area because I had a surgery that 'could' affect my abilities. When we began foster care they flagged this as a serious issue because we hadn't 'dealt' with the reality that we weren't going to have children. A bit of an overreaction in my book since neither one of us knew for certain that we couldn't. In fact, the reality of the situation is that if they told both of us that we were completely sterile we would still believe that God could give us a baby if He wanted us to have one. In fact, I have known people who were 'sterile' that have had multiple children. Regardless, we feel like it's time to find out if there is something we need to get fixed for it to happen.

So we started going through some serious testing to find out how 'normal' we are. If you don't believe that it's time for some universal health care in this country, try going to the doctor for a procedure that isn't covered by your insurance. I have a good job and make a shit-ton of money. We own two houses, have investment and retirement accounts, and have (almost) impeccable credit. The doctor wouldn't let us leave the office without paying, cash, $500 for the first round of testing. Makes you feel great knowing that you might have a serious medical condition but because your insurance company miscommunicated with the doctor's office you are treated like a criminal-to-be. It's pretty terrifying to watch your savings go from a respectable state of robust-ness to nothing over the period of 1 month as the doctor orders test after test after test after test.

So the end result is that Aimee is basically fine (I'll let her comment on what she found out on her own) and I have some serious issues. It was heart breaking and terrifying. If you're a doctor and you're reading this, take some advice from me. You should never follow a traumatic statement of a man's inability to produce sperm with, "We also need to check this out and find out if it's a cyst or cancer or a disease causing a hormone imbalance." I understand that cancer might not be the menace it once was from a doctor's point of view...but regular people like me still hear it and assume it means you're going to die. I know it's not rational, but you should be careful just the same. Maybe throw in a few sentences like, "There is probably nothing wrong with you" or "My aren't you a fine husband" between "bad sperm" and "cancer".

On that note, it's interesting being in a fertility clinic. The entire staff there was female (part of the reason Aimee chose it, I think) and you kind of get the feel that everyone is a bit hopeful, supportive, and caring. Other than the bad choice of words in her office, the main doctor at the place is a very sweet woman. The nurses are very nice. The billing lady not so much, but that's her job I suppose. They wanted me to go into a waiting room and wait for Aimee to get some follow up work done. I was alone and started to cry. I was trying REALLY hard to hide it but the doctor came in and saw me and gave me a hug. It was a little strange but it was comforting. I then had to go and give blood (Yay! My favorite thing in the world!) and sat there with tears rolling down my cheeks the whole time. I really hope that she thought I was scared of needles.

Then it was time to go talk to the billing lady about our 'options'. This basically amounted to them telling us how we could have a baby if we were rich. She told me the price, I said it might as well be a million dollars, she said that's too bad and handed me a brochure for a bank that loaned money to people so they could have a baby. They are also nice enough to charge 10% interest. I'm not going to imply that I think that's shady in the least but it seems like they should be a little more reserved about the 'buy a pregnancy' thing. Maybe wait a week or something and approach people when they're not falling off of an emotional cliff face.

Anyways, the point of this blog (can I tell you how nice it is to write something not for school and not care about my use of the passive voice or sounding like I know what I'm talking about?) was to let you all know that I have several appointments in the near future to determine whether or not there is something wrong with me. Tonight, I have the ultrasound to see if there are any lumps or masses or whatever doctor-types call them. Then I have to go give more blood later this week. Then I have to go to a urologist and let them do 'whatever' to me.

I'm terrified. I know I shouldn't be, most likely it's just the surgery I had when I was young. I do know 3 people my age or YOUNGER that have had testicular cancer, which seems statistically unlikely. I don't know what the numbers are but it seems like they should be a lot lower than that. Also, my best friend just got hit by a tennis ball in the 'tennis balls' (if you know what I mean) and seems to be having some serious problems in that area. I don't think that has anything to do with this, but I sort of wanted to know if he was reading or not.

The plus side is that I have been incredibly distracted the past three or four weeks from my school work and I am way behind. Frankly, I'm having a hard time caring whether or not I pass or if I even continue. I'm sure everyone feels that way now and again and I'll admit I'm dealing with just a little bit of depression right now. I already had to request and incomplete from one class because I just can't handle the load and I'm going to just shoot for not failing the other two. I'll write more in the future on school, ministry, and the future of the Wickershams because I realize that this is really long already.


See ya.

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Posted in: family,friends

the way it is...

Kind of Blue
a Stranger
an unwelcome Friend
unexpected
anticipation becoming clean up duty
abrupt ends
almost
the Last one Up
that taste in your mouth
wondering
sound asleep
heavy eyes
intriguing
Coltrane and Davis

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Valley Metro

So, I like to ride the bus. Interesting people, saves on gas, don't feel as bad about having a big truck, it's nice to get a mile of walking in every day. I also enjoy not driving in Phoenix. Aimee can definitely tell when I've ridden the bus and when I've driven, because when I get home from work I have a completely different attitude. Plus, it's incredibly convenient in this city. For those of you that haven't lived outside of PHX, there aren't buses roaming around every city like they do here. Matt can attest to that. They have(had) several convenient ways to pay as well. You could buy a monthly pass that basically let you ride as much as you want whenever you want for one low monthly fee (I think it was somewhere between 30 and 45 bucks). For me, the best thing they had going were the 'tickets'. These were books of tickets that were basically one way passes. They didn't expire (hah, yeah right) and you didn't run the risk of using them to buy a coke at work when you were really tired. I think they dropped the price from 1.25 per ride to 1.20 but that wasn't really the impetus for using them. So I haven't really been riding since I had the kids, since I take them to school in the morning but I've been looking forward to riding again this summer.

Well, when my truck was broken I grabbed a few tickets and headed down to my bus stop. Lo and behold, over the winter they revamped their fee-structure and INVALIDATED MY TICKETS! Now that really pisses me off. There is no reason why they couldn't continue to accept them for some REASONABLE amount of time and I can't imagine that they would EVER make it so you couldn't trade them out for the new tickets. Some more info (mainly for Matt, who is probably the only one who cares): One way fare is still 1.25, however they no longer issue transfers so your 1.25 gives you EXACTLY one ride. You get off the bus, you pay again. For 2.50 you can buy an 'all day pass' which lets you ride all day long (duh). So really, this is better for me because I used to pay 2.50 for 2 one way trips each day and if I wanted to ride to the mall or something for lunch I had to pay again. They sell books of one day pass 'tickets' @ 12.50 for 5 (which is basically the same as the 10 ticket books they used to sell. They now also sell 3, 7, and 31 day passes which I guess are good deals if that's what you need. All in all, I think it's a good thing because, frankly, the bus has been too cheap. If you look at a bus ride in any major metropolis I think you'll find that 2.50 for a whole day is still a steal.

So here is my gripe. Dec 2007: new rate plan goes into effect, Valley Metro stops selling tickets. Jan 2008 - March 2008: they 'blast' the (old) media telling people the fares are changing and (supposedly) tell you that you should cash in your old tickets because they are no longer going to work. April 2008: Any tickets you have from the 'old' (3 months ago) system are now garbage. Keep in mind that Phoenix is a city full of people who leave for months at a time. Admittedly, most of these people are here during the winter, but seriously, 3 months? And I never received a letter in the mail even though I purchase tickets all the time? No email, even though they have my email for purchase confirmations? What harm is there in allowing the old tickets to be traded in for, what, a year? Who cares? Even if you just allow them to be traded 2 for 1 for the new all day tickets. These things can represent a serious investment for some people. I bought them 4 books at a time...that was 48 dollars! All of the sudden they're garbage because I didn't ride the bus over the winter? I called in to complain and seek some sort of restitution but, alas, I was told to pound sand. Repeatedly, and by managers 2 levels up. I rode the bus home tuesday in a VERY bad mood (mainly because I had to borrow bus money) :(

Well, let me end this by saying I'm very pleased with Valley Metro (didn't expect that, didja?) I wrote them a letter stating very clearly my position and why I was unhappy with them. I told them that I was an advocate in my professional environment for riding the bus and I felt let down. I told them exactly what I wanted, which was a cashless trade; ticket for ticket. Well this morning, I received a phone call from Andrea, who told me that they would certainly trade me new tickets for old, and they were sorry for any inconvenience. At this point, I don't even care whether or not I get the new tickets (ok, I do) I'm just happy that they aren't completely unreasonable.

Good times.

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Posted in: friends,work

This gets me every time I see it...

This dude is 4 years old in this video...

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Ummmm

So I was looking for a carpet remnant on craigslist for our storage room (that we're hoping to convert into an office) when I ran across this:

http://phoenix.craigslist.org/spo/650040968.html

About which I could only think to myself, "Wow, that seems like a lot for a stripper pole."

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Posted in: friends,interests

Crazy day

Well, today was an interesting day.  Lots happened, it's hard to believe it was only one day's worth of stuff.  First off, my truck was still not working this morning so I just rode the bus.  I found out that they no longer take the tickets I have so I almost didn't get to ride.  Luckily, I had a buck twenty-five and could ride it to work.  I called and bitched out the customer service people and they didn't care. I probably have $30 worth of those darn tickets (thanks Matt).  I wrote the customer service email address and explained why I think it's ridiculous that they won't trade them out at all for the new tickets.  We'll see how that pans out.  

When I got to work I had to give a demo of the project I've been working on to my new manager and the director of our group.  It was kind of a big deal and I was a little nervous but it went well (no crashes and no obvious bugs during the demo).  Aimee got really sick so I had to come home instead of going to church for a meeting (sorry Gena).  I had a bright idea about my truck and went out and just fixed it.  Straight up fixed.  Amen.  I can't believe I didn't see the problem earlier but I'm just glad it's fixed.  I had to go drop off Aimee's homework and pick up some lumber because the guy is coming tomorrow to fill in the window in the living room.  Fun Times!

Meanwhile, I was a little bored at work at the end of the day since I'm in the middle of few different tasks and didn't want to start something new.  So I just randomly decided to search for this guy I used to know on the internet.  A little background; when I was in junior high I had a pretty tight group of friends.  Well, this one guy had to move to Ohio all of the sudden with his family and it was like BAM he was gone.  I was never able to really keep in touch with him and my friends and I always wondered what happened with him.  When I was in college and discovered the web I thought for sure this guy would be on there.  So I searched and searched but couldn't find him.  Every year I got a bug in me and searched for him but never turned anything up.  Well for some reason today my google juice was flowing and I found a posting on a linux user group by a guy with the right name and I just emailed him.  BINGO!  It was crazy, I emailed all of my old group of friends his info and we played catch up.

Now I just have to figure out how I'm gonna get all the rest of the stuff done that I was planning on doing tonight!  

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Posted in: family,florida,friends,home improvement,work