Sandra Fluke and Rush Limbaugh

I've been thinking a lot today about Rush Limbaugh's recent comments regarding Sandra Fluke on his radio show. I've been trying to understand why it upsets me so much, trying to understand why I'm so angry about THIS particular bit of foulness from Mr. Limbaugh.

Here's the deal: I have four daughters. They don't deserve to grow up in a world where a self-righteous misogynist like Rush Limbaugh can get away with calling them a slut on the public airwaves. Sandra Fluke is, by all accounts, exactly the kind of young woman I hope and pray that my daughters grow up to become. An assault on this woman is an assault on all women.

My anger isn't only on behalf of my daughters. I'm also enraged about the assault this represents on my brilliant and talented younger sister, a woman who has a future of limitless potential in front of her. When and if she becomes a parent it will be on her own terms; no man has the right to make that decision for her.

I dream that one day each one of my daughters will have the opportunity to stand up and speak with passion and conviction about something she believes in with all her heart. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that the ability to control conception is one of the most important advancements we have made towards equality between men and women in this world. Rush Limbaugh, don't you dare call a bold, brilliant young woman like my daughter a slut. Don't you dare let me hear you say that she is a prostitute or a "round-heeled woman" because she won't let her body and her sexuality belong to you.

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Posted in: america,family,politics,pregnancy

Easy Crock Pot BBQ Ribs

I thought I would share one of the crock pot recipes I've been doing for years. It's so easy and delicious (and relatively cheap) that I thought others might like to give it a try.

Ingredients:

• 2.5 pounds of country style ribs (beef or pork, try to catch them when they're on sale, they freeze great!)
• 1 bottle of the BBQ sauce (Sweet Baby Ray's is my absolute favorite and they recently went on sale at $0.88 for an 18 oz bottle, I bought 20)
• 1 medium size onion (I love red onions, but any kind will do)
• 2 cloves garlic (or 10, as you prefer ) 
• 6 mushrooms (optional, I buy cremini but anything works)
• 1 can beef broth
• 1 T apple cider vinegar
• 1 T vegetable oil (or bacon grease, if you're like me and always have some handy :) )
• Salt and pepper to flavor (or your favorite BBQ spice rub)

Preparation: 

This really is about as easy as cooking can get. Dice the onion, when I made it this morning I had red and white onions in the fridge so I used half a red and half a white onion but the key really is to get a nice dice going and get that onion-y goodness in your crock pot. 

Break down your garlic cloves, dice them finely or use a press, and toss em in the crock pot. 

Grab your bottle of BBQ sauce and pour the whole thing in. In order to get all of the yumminess out of the BBQ bottle, pour your beef broth into the bottle and shake, shake, shake it up. Pour the beef broth into the mix as well. 

Now, if you're lucky enough to have a bottle of Wickersham Family Authentic Down Home BBQ Spice Rub shake a decent helping into the pot, otherwise add a teaspoon each of salt and pepper and send me an email begging for a sample of my spice rub. 

Next quarter (or smaller, if you're a little mushroom queasy) the mushrooms and mix them into your crock pot. These mushroom are totally optional, you could leave them out completely if you wish but why would you! Their primary role is, of course, to add their earthy, nutty flavor to the recipe. The added benefit, even more of course, is that they give you something else to soak up the yummy base you just made over the next 8 hours and help stretch the recipe if you're feeding a large family. And an earthy, nutty flavor, of course. 

Now that you have your base taken care of (that was really easy, right) it's time to turn to your meat. You could just throw the ribs into the crock pot and be done; I've done this on many occasions when I've been in a hurry. It will be delicious. 

If you have a few extra minutes, however (a really, really small number of minutes) you can crank the flavor up a few notches by browning the ribs before you put them in the crock pot. The flavor benefit to lightly browning these ribs before you braise them all day in the crock pot is unbelievable. The secret to all this extra flavor, obviously, is the Maillard reaction. It's also an opportunity to sneak some bacon into your ribs, which is never a bad idea. If you happen to have a tub (or a skillet left over from breakfast) of bacon grease you owe your family an apology if you skip this step. Seriously, it's bacon. Vegetable oil works well too if that's all you have (seriously, save your bacon grease). You want a mid-hot pan so you get a good sizzle, grab your tongs and lightly brown each side of your ribs. Then toss them into the crock pot. That's it. 5 minutes for flavor magic.

Now, if you browned your ribs you've got to keep all those brown bits in the pan. Deglaze with the apple cider vinegar (I said 1 tablespoon but I just use a couple splashes to cover the pan) and use your wooden spoon or silicon spatula to to get all that gooey goodness off the bottom of the pan. Let it reduce for just another minute (really, you've got the time!) and pour it into the crock pot. 

If you didn't brown your ribs, just pour a couple splashes of apple cider vinegar into the crock pot. Seriously though, brown the ribs. 

That's it! Stir it up a little to make sure the ribs are coated and set the timer so they're done by dinner. I like to go low for at least 8 hours but it's up to you. These ribs tend to be pretty tough and chewy so the lower and slower you can cook them the better they'll be. I like to serve them on a plate with some rice and my kids love them. Let me know if you try it!

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Posted in: cooking,crock pot,family,hobbies

Christmas Eve

So Christmas Eve is a stressful time for people who work in the church. I'm sure I have lots of friends on Facebook that can sympathize. One of the most refreshing things that a church worker can do, on occasion, is find a congregation within which they disappear. After spending Christmas Eve struggling to help make our worship services meaningful for others, I realized that the night was almost over and I hadn't attended worship myself. Let me tell you this isn't abnormal, but this Christmas was one where I really felt the need to experience the miracle. So, after an exhausting day I headed out at 11pm with a friend to experience 'Nine Lessons and Carols' at an Episcopal church in Scottsdale. We arrived just as the service was kicking off and I was able to lose myself in anonymous worship.

I belong to the United Methodist Church, and in fact as many of you know I am following a call to ordained ministry within the same denomination. I did, however, spend many years attending the Catholic mass and High Church Episcopal worship as a young man. I love modern worship; I love the freedom to let loose and to experiment with new (or extremely old) ways of praising God. I love loud guitars and pounding drums that shake the walls, I love the intimacy of acoustic guitar and hand drums and sharing the mystery of God's love with a tiny group of worshipers. There are times, however, when I want to be overwhelmed by Church. I don't know if it's a product of my early exposure to the liturgy or if it's simply something that renews me, but sometimes I just want to be chewed up and spit out by the machinery of tradition. There is something...mystical...that comes across when I bow before the cross or watch the altar party silently preparing the feast seemingly without regard to the masses in the pews. I love it...sometimes. I think that is the most beautiful thing about our Church, there never needs to be something missing because somewhere close by that something is an 'old standby' that people are clamoring to rid themselves of.

So, why am I sharing this? I just wanted to take the opportunity to thank everyone that put service to the Church ahead of their own wants and desires this Christmas. I really appreciate it! I also want to encourage all of you in your ministries, whatever they may be. It's also a way for me to encourage us as a Church; we sometimes fret over our fractiousness but I think we need to spend more time celebrating the diversity within the faith. I know that this Christmas has helped me realize that I spend too much time trying to think about what we can change about our worship at Trinity: Rays of Hope instead of really exploring the depths of what we bring to the table that is unique; we all have distinct gifts from God (both as congregations and as individuals) and we need to spend time exploring what our strengths are and what we can bring to the wider community that no one else can. It's hard to remember sometimes, but there is someone out there looking for a place to worship and we fit the bill perfectly! Praise be to God and Merry Christmas!

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Posted in: church,family

Sigh

So, my adventures with the doctor continue. I feel like over the last year I have gotten so old. I normally avoid the doctor, due to my long standing belief that they never help you feel any better. Well, I got over this (mainly due to the fact that I now know several doctors that I respect and trust) and got myself a primary care physician. I got myself tested at a fertility doctor. I went to the dentist (I know, that shouldn't count). I went and got new glasses (Can you believe I went 4 years with 1 pair of glasses?). I won't comment on the fact that the fertility doctor told us there was no chance we would have babies, needless to say I'm trying to be open minded. So I like my primary care physician. Let me say take a second here to say that I found all of my doctors (except the fertility doctor) on kudzu.com. I don't know if you have used this site, but it is pretty fantastic. Anyways, I like the guy. He is nice, personable, and seems to really care about my health. Most importantly he listens to me. He seems to respect my thoughts and my concerns - I know this shouldn't be surprising but I have never had a doctor like that before. It took more than 6 months before he told me to lose weight, so that is good. Let me just say it is hard to think about getting old and having health problems. As my doc put it, sometimes you wind up in the shallow end of the gene pool. We have this huge history of heart disease in our family. So I have high blood pressure, incredibly high triglycerides, and unimaginably low HDL. I am apparently a basket of suck. So I have to find some time to get some exercise - apparently I won't be walking as much anymore (no more bus riding :( ) so I am going to have to be serious about getting some cardio. I hate this.

Anyways, my mom is leaving tomorrow. I am super bummed about that. It is going to be hard. I am going to have a really hard time adjusting to life without her again. I don't know how I wound up with such incredible parents, but I thank God constantly for them. I love the relationship I have with them, it is truly something that has gotten better with time. I love that my dad and I are buds. I love that my mom and I get along so well, we are really so much alike.

OK, I hope this wasn't too crazy. Peace out everyone.

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Posted in: doctor,exercise,family

Man oh man

What a change my life has taken! So the twins are home, it's been crazy! On top of that school started last night. Ethics and Theology, I'm really excited! It was a great class and very interesting, I'm really excited about this semester. In other news, mom is still here. It's been so fantastic having here here, I don't know what I'll do when she leaves. It is amazing having family here. Sigh. In other news, it's cold again in Phoenix. This is a crazy time of year. I don't have much to say, I just figured I should post something!

Woo hoo, I'm a daddy!

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Posted in: family,school

The end is near

So many things seem like they're coming to an end: school is almost over (can you believe we have a paper due on Dec 29?), our time 'working' at CITD is over, the pregnancy is almost over, the holidays are almost over, and football season is almost over (Go Gators!).  It's crazy to look back and remember this year, it has definitely been the most up and down year I can remember... so much has happened it is almost impossible to believe it was all in 1 year!  Started with Christmas/New Years Eve in Florida, then the two trips in the spring to be with the family as we let Nannie go be with the Lord, then the infertility stuff and the treatments, the layoffs at work, new pastor at church, the pregnancy,  saying goodbye to M&M, having like 10 foster kids in 2 months, J&B moving in and moving out, having A&R move in, the Psych eval and becoming a certified candidate in the UMC, the house being robbed.  Yikes, big year.  On top of that, I have been doing my darndest to stay on top of school and the house and still be involved in the family and the church.  Ttthhhhhhhhhhhhpppppppptttt.  Almost too much to imagine.  

Oh well, I guess that is life.  It's interesting to try and remember what life was like when I was younger, college aged or younger I guess.  I have always felt like I was super busy, like the crush of life was almost too much to bear.  The funny thing is, when I look back I can't believe I wasn't bored out of my mind then!  It's amazing how much pressure a full time job puts on you just from the perspective of time.  Having to get up and squeeze what feels like a full day of 'stuff' into the hours before you go to work and then again in the hours after the kids are in bed is crazy - but it is just you do when you're an adult.  Blargh, it sucks sometimes though.  Sometimes when I just veg out and watch football or a move I feel like I'm wasting so much time; it's so hard to remember that you absolutely must have down time.  

So, to add to the randomness, I'll talk about a movie I watched last night (between 2am and 5am while I was up suffering from a terrible sick stomach), "Forgetting Sarah Marshall."  First of all, it wasn't a great movie.  I think the gross out jokes have been done better and with more finesse but whatever.  It did get a lot better towards the end and I'll give it a thumbs up because I've been a sappy romantic of late.  As I was laying on the couch after the movie ended (trying not to poop my pants), I realized that the movie sort of touched me because it was similar to the story of how I fell in love with Aimee.  I know this is crazy, but I sort of had my own Sarah Marshall (though not nearly as attractive or wealthy as Veronica Mars and much, much taller).  I realized this when I heard the line in the movie where one of the guys described his relationship with Sarah Marshall as 'time served' or something like that.  I was totally whipped by my ex and it took her throwing me away to really free myself from her.  When I was recovering but still in love I met Aimee and she was totally the 'cool Hawaiian chick' from the movie.  Like the characters in the movie, we just sort of accidentally fell in love with each other and before I knew it I couldn't imagine life without her.  I'm not really sure what my Vampire puppet opera was but I'm sure I could come up with something if I tried really hard.  Either way, in the end I found my Aimee and there couldn't be anyone better for me :)  

Alright, have to go read about Indian immigrants - I can't wait to be done with school!

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Posted in: church,family,florida,foster care,friends,hobbies,home improvement,pregnancy,school,work

Thanksgiving Day et al

Well, we had an interesting Thanksgiving. Work leading up to the holiday was sort of ridiculous, so many crazy things were expected and they were pressuring us to do things on production even though we had a 'code freeze', which really just means we're not supposed to do anything on production. Anyways, who cares about that - let's talk turkey! Heh, I went out to a few stores Wednesday night because I was afraid I didn't have enough peanut oil. I knew that Wal-Mart would have it but I hate that store with a passion and normally do everything I can to avoid. This night, though, it couldn't be avoided. So I went to Wal-queda and it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I think I have figured out how to shop there. Wear headphones. If I can avoid hearing people and just pretend that I'm in a foreign country where people don't obey the same rules of etiquette and personal hygiene that I am accustomed to I can manage to get in and out without going nuts. So I got the stuff I needed and headed home. Thursday morning I got up early and baked bread, made a nice breakfast with some young fried brown eggs-yum. Got the turkey fryer set up and spend the early morning cleaning up the house and back yard. After frying the turkey, we wrapped it up and went to our friends' house. I brought some of the little 'cocktail-smoky' pigs-in-a-blanket that my mom likes to make and they were a huge hit! Everyone loved my turkey, I got zero leftovers...they demolished that thing! It was a fun dinner, I really like the Wassons and family, they are such good people and so nice to invite us into their family. They're pretty close to my age too, which is nice for a change. After that we went over to Mike and Emily's new house, they are already decorated for Christmas(!) and it was so cute. We played some games and stayed until about 9:30, then headed home. All in all it was a fun day. Unfortunately, I woke up in the middle of the night coughing up a lung. For some reason when the weather turns I can't stay well. I had a hard time breathing and sat up for a couple of hours trying to calm down. I watched 'Wanted' during that time, which was a surprisingly decent movie. Then I went to sleep on the couch. I am so scared that I am going to get Aimes really sick. Then we had to get up early this morning for a visit from CPS and so I did some dishes and helped straighten up the house. Then, it was off to bed again - I slept until 12! I never do that ... so I guess I'm really sick. Then I got up, watched some football (Boy LSU sucks this year) and went out to work on my truck. Bad news, the alternator checks out so I have no idea why it is eating batteries. I guess there is a short somewhere...ugh. If it isn't one thing it's another. I wonder if life is always going to be like this? Always behind the 8 ball.

Anyways, I am home now, resting, and hopefully about to eat dinner. Hope you all had a happy Thanksgiving!!!

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Posted in: family,foster care,friends,work

Foster Parent College

Oh my goodness, talk about a waste of time. We have to do 'continuing education' for our foster license and Aimee found a site called fosterparentcollege.com that counts towards this requirement. We took a Communication in Marriage class and it does videos and 'interactive exercises' to teach. I think the software is pretty good, they've done a good job pin presenting the material. But the material stinks! I mean, it is so silly. Anyway, that is all...I am finishing a paper for school and 'learning' about communication in my marriage. Fun times.

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Posted in: family,foster care

Ugh

So I'm sick. I went home from work on Friday with a sick stomach, I was hoping and praying it was something I ate. Turns out it wasn't. I spent the whole weekend just sick enough to feel like crap but not sick enough to warrant staying in bed all day. Of course, it hit its peak on Monday and I just felt like absolute garbage all day. Now it has progressed to my lungs and I have kind of a yucky cough and that strange feeling like my lungs are full of glass. I sure hate that. Of course it is made worse by the fact that Aimee is pregnant. I have been sleeping on the couch and generally avoiding being close to her because I don't want to get her sick. The worst part is waking up in the morning and taking care of the girls while Aimee gets ready for work. To cap it off things at work have been sort of stressful and of course I have like 900 things to read and write about for school. Last night I had to finish up my paper on Judaism and I just couldn't manage it without a nap so I laid down on the couch just about 30 minutes after I got home from work and went to sleep. That did the trick and when I woke up I finished the darn thing and emailed it to my prof. I hope it doesn't suck (it does suck, but I figure if I pray enough maybe God will change all the words around and somehow when the teacher reads it somehow it will make sense).

On a side note, I have been super bummed out lately that the guys that broke into our house stole my cameras. I finally bought a little point and shoot type of camera like our old one so at least we'll be able to get some pics and movies of the kids and Aimee's pregnancy. (just so I don't forget, I should point out that right now Ave and Rosa are sitting on the floor going 'Daaa da da da da Gooo Gators!' over and over and over again) I was planning on inviting our friends over and taking Christmas portraits, I don't know if there is anyway I will be able to get a decent camera by then. It really bums me out thinking of all the crap I sold on Craigslist and eBay to get the money for the kit I had. My biggest problem, of course, is that I don't want to spend all of that money and get the same camera I had before. It is now 2 models behind the latest and greatest. I definitely got to the point before it was taken that I was running up against its limitations. The nice thing about the SLR is that I had a nice collection of lenses that would would have worked with a brand new body when I decided to upgrade, but now they are gone. It is frustrating. Anyways, I know this is a very first world problem to have and I shouldn't complain ... especially since the economy is in the pooper and people are getting laid off left and right. Ah well, if only I was perfect :)

I had started writing a long piece here about the election but I think I'll save that until later.  I know you guys can only stand for me to bloviate for so long :) 

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Posted in: family,hobbies,school,work

We're going to the faaaaaaaair...the Alachua Maricopa county fair

Well, we went to the fair Friday night. I'm not a big fair person, but we got free tickets from foster care and they were only good friday night. I was exhausted from a long week and had a raging headache, but it was for the family so off we went. It was a fairly (hah) good time, though it cost a bundle. It was worth it to see the little ones light up though. They definitely didn't enjoy the animals like I did, but they flipped out over the rides. Who knew! They are such wimps I would have figured they would hate the rides. I got to ride on one ride with them and it was a blast...if you've been there it was the big boat that rolled back and forth in what you can only describe as a skateboard ramp while it was spinning in circles. Fun fun fun. The rides were expensive though, I think most rides were like 5 'tickets' (though you didn't have any tickets). It was like 10 tickets for 5 bucks so you can do the math but your dollar sure didn't go very far. Aimee is pregnant so it didn't seem too fun for her, she loves rides and couldn't go on any. She did get her nachos though :)

OK, now the shiny-happy part is over. Now begins the part of this blog where I point out how stupid everything in Arizona is. When you think 'State Fair' what do you think? Farm animals, big midway, gangs, crowded city streets. Of course, me too! So Phoenix is smack dab in the middle of a huge desert. Arid wasteland for miles and miles and miles in every direction. The city is surrounded by suburbs which are in turn surrounded by huge farms. So where would you put the state fair, keeping in mind that almost the ENTIRE STATE OF ARIZONA is composed of rural, small-town communities. Downtown! Of course, I'm SURE there will be plenty of parking and there won't be any unsavory types lurking around to spoil the experience for people who have driven in from the wild country up north, south, east, or west of us. In fact, we should try and cram the entire thing in the middle of a residential neighborhood-and by middle I mean a very tiny piece of that neighborhood. Seriously, whose dumb-ass Idea was it to have the fair at Grand & McDowell? There isn't ANYWHERE else in the ENTIRE STATE that can handle a fair ? If you're from Florida, let me try and paint you a picture. Imagine the way Church Street Station used to be. Remove the city parking. Remove all of the street lights. Break beer bottles everywhere. Add 3 million people. And then drop half of the Brevard County Fair right on top of Rosie O'Gradies. That's right, half, because that's all you can fit into THE MIDDLE OF THE CITY. I'm not sure which was more sketchy, the dimly lit parking lots managed by homeless people or the gang task force patrolling the fair. We had to leave pretty early because we didn't want to be walking around the city with our kids late at night (you know, like after 8). When we got back to the parking lot where we left our car, we saw two young ladies that had parked right next to us on their cell phone. This was just after I caught a glimpse of our van and sighed with relief. I asked the girls if they were ok and they said they were waiting on the police because their car along with 3 other ones right next to theirs had been broken into. Awesome, good thing we paid 15 to park in a 'safe' lot. I almost had a heart attack as I walked around our car feeling the windows but luckily we won the state fair lotto and didn't get our car broken into. I was really looking forward to that phone call to my mom, "Hey remember how our house was robbed 3 days aga? Guess what-our car got broken into also!!"

I'm sure there is a lot more I can say, but I guess I"m good to go after the parking lot thing. On a positive note, we did see some really cool chickens, and the biggest freaking cow I have ever seen in my life.

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Posted in: family,florida,foster care,sarcasm

Little Known Fact

EXIF data is much more interesting than you might originally imagine. Background: Our house was robbed on Tuesday. It was horrible, not because they took so much but because Aimee came home and found the house in shambles and didn't know if they were still there or not. She was terrified. Because of this, and not at all because we care about our stuff, we are installing an alarm in the house. I've always been very anti-alarm, I don't know why. I guess it's because back home we don't even lock our front door. Like, we don't lock it when we all leave and go off to work and whatever. My dad leaves his keys in the ignition of his car in the driveway. Take that Phoenix, HA! Anyways, so our house got robbed and they stole all of my camera equipment. Now, I don't have a huge kit but I was proud of it and I'll tell you photography was something that I really, really enjoyed doing. I don't say that meaning I'm done with it, I'm just deflated because the took everything. Lenses, camera bodies (digital and film), chargers, flashes, memory cards - EVERYTHING. It is so strange too, they literally walked past 4 laptops (5 if you count the one under the bed) and a pile of Target giftcards from our baby shower but stole my stupid cameras. I wouldn't have cared TOO much if they had taken my laptops because they couldn't get our private date (yay encryption!) and, you know, it wouldn't be that hard to convince Aimes that we need to replace laptops :) But my freaking cameras. Grrrrr. So anyways, I cruised by a few pawn shops today and no cameras had been brought in but they said without serial numbers I was sort of SOL. Apparently the police automatically check the serial numbers of everything that gets pawned and flag things reported as stolen. Bummer.

So back to EXIF data. EXIF data is the silly stuff that your camera saves inside every picture you take. It's very meta. Time of day, exposure settings, lens information, etc. Just on a whim, I thought maybe the EXIF data has the serial number of the camera? First glance, no bones. Has the model number, has my name(?), but no serial number. So I turn to google. Turns out, there is a 'secret' binary field inside the EXIF data that camera manufacturers use to store lots of interesting information...and Canon is nice enough to store your camera's serial number. Ironically, this dataset is labeled 'MakerData' (creative aren't they?). So I download this nifty program, compile it, run it on one of my raw files and BINGO! Out pops my camera's serial number! I was wicked impressed. I also managed to find the serial numbers of 2 of my lenses in the original boxes (I don't know why I keep boxes...err, I mean I guess now I know why I keep boxes). Hello! So tomorrow morning I'm going to call the 'callback officer' and report the serial numbers and who knows...maybe I'll get lucky.

I still can't believe that they didn't take more of our stuff. I can only hope the dogs were going nuts in the back yard and they were scared.

PEACE!

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Posted in: family,friends,hobbies

Well...

We have foster kids again, all is right with the world. It's a fascinating story and I will share it with you all someday. I'm excited to say two beautiful, brilliant, and bilingual young women now live with us and we had a very fun evening. Aimee is so good with girls, no matter how they are feeling about moving in with us a shopping trip turns them into BFF. We had our first interaction with the Phoenix public school system today...that will be interesting. Fun quote of the night - "You kind of look like the King of Queens". Fun activity of the night - Fuego en la Sangre

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Posted in: family,foster care

oh man

So today has been the day to end all days. First of all, I hurt my back playing FREAKING volleyball...I am getting so old. I had to take the day off of work yesterday to just lay on the couch and recuperate. It sucked; I mean, I got to watch like 15 episodes of the West Wing but it still sucked. I have so much to do around the house and I can't hardly freaking move. Blargh! So just to keep this short (because So You Think You Can Dance is on) this morning Mercedes freaking went ballistic. If you haven't seen her lose it I can't even explain it to you. Screaming at the top of her lungs...like ear piercing, blood curdling screaming. She was kicking the bed, kicking the walls, kicking the doors. It was awful. So, I put her in the crib. Call me an asshole, but I just can't stand a 5 year old acting like that. So I put her in the crib. Frankly, I'm not sure if there was any other way to keep her from hurting herself. So she had to go to school and hadn't stopped crying, I just picked her up and put her in her car seat. All told, she didn't stop screaming and crying (and kicking the back of my car seat ) until I left her in her classroom. She was so embarrassed to be left in school with messy hair and no shoes, she shut herself up immediately. Then we get home tonight, she goes ballistic again (after promising me she wouldn't do it anymore). Dangit man. It was so bad this time, she actually did hurt herself. She kicked her wardrobe and wound up cutting her ankle on the corner. I finally got her to calm down and we talked about how to punish her. She actually impressed me and told me in a calm voice that she really didn't want to go to bed early (sometimes when she throws fits we make her go to bed early, basically stay in bed all night) and we came up with a new kind of punishment (because she agreed that she needed to be punished for throwing a big ole fit). So, we entered the world of writing your name X-hundred times on a piece of paper. Heh heh, tell me I'm not destined to teach. We sat down at her desk and I showed her how to write her name across the top of a piece of lined paper (3 times...Mercedes is one heck of a first name) and told her she needed to fill the front and back of a piece of lined paper. So she really attacked it, and spent an hour writing. Meanwhile, Mariah and I had a fun night; pizza for dinner and a game of "I got your booty", which is basically tickle time. Then when Merc finally finished Mariah went ballistic. Argh. At least they spread it out. Arrrgghhhh! It kills you to just hear non-stop screaming for 3 hours. Bleh. I want to get drunk.

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Posted in: family

In a funk tonight

I don't know why, I'm just in a rotten mood right now. I can't really explain it, I had a good day at work and I am having an enjoyable evening with the wife and kids. I don't know why this happens to me, but I just get in a funk sometimes. I had an interesting conversation with Adam today. Actually, it feels like I spent most of my day at work talking with Adam about various things. I'm not sure if I'll get to my scheduled task in the 'garden' tonight, but I'm hoping to at least get some plumbing supplies at the Depot after the girls go to bed. Hopefully I'll get up early in the morning and get out there before everyone else is up and about. Thankfully, it seems to be 'cooling' off a little bit. I think we're officially in monsoon season now.

More later

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Posted in: family,friends,hobbies

Ahhhh, Sweet Relief

Aimee's home. Finally! I do not do well when I am away from her. I don't often think about it this way, but we've been together for 10 years. Freak! It's hard to imagine that I've spent almost a third of my life with my wife. Not in a bad way, it's just unreal that all of the stuff in my life, including my entire time in school and growing up and learning to talk and what no, was only twice as long as the time I've been with Aimes. Anyways, it is difficult to be apart from her for even a night, weeks are unbearable. I'm so thankful that my mom was in town when Aimee had to leave. Aimee managed to watch the kids by herself for a week but I could never do it. She is amazing!

On another note, I had a fun 4th of July! We had a young adult party at my house that turned out to be a lot of fun. I have got to get a Wii, that thing is so freaking fun. We swam, we played games, Nicole pretended to be Alyssa so Mariah could get to sleep. The kids love playing with Tyler, I wish they could spend more time together. Beth et al took Mercedes to see the fireworks and she had a freaking great time. I got a 'smoking' deal on a bbq smoker at Lowe's (hahaha) and we cooked 2 chickens and a pork shoulder (Actually just the butt heh). I made my own rub and had it goin all day. Ironically, it isn't hard at all to keep the temperature up in Phoenix in the summer. So, 6 hours later we had some awesome smoked chicken at the party. 12 hours in, mom and I got the pork butt off and shared some unbelievable pulled pork sandwiches (at 8:30 pm heh heh)

Finally, today was the first day that our new pastor was at worship. Part of me didn't want to like him, just because I was so close to Gary, but I have to admit he is pretty fantastic. He seems like quite a character, has red hair and a serious accent (MinnesOOOda I would say) and gave a great sermon. He apparently ran out of time in the first service, so he just didn't give a sermon! Wow! I had to go into his office after the service and set up his computer and I had a chance to chat with him briefly. I am honestly looking forward to working with him. I will also say, that his office is decorated very nicely. It looks like his couch and chairs are from Ikea, very modern. I also noticed that he has some very funky curtains hung up. Cool beans!

More later!

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Posted in: church,family

Someone has a case of the Mondays :(

Well, it's Monday. I guess the only good thing you can say about Mondays is I get to work from home. It's nice to not have to get up and get cleaned up and head into work on Monday mornings, it's sort of like having a 'practice' day for the rest of the week. Get up, get the kids off to school and come back home with a donut from QT (Krispy Kreme yay!) and a Diet Coke and sit down to the computer to go over my email from the weekend. I have a pretty nice office at home, but it can be hot as blazes this time of year. Plus, it's on a separate A/C ( a window unit) and I can just feel money burning out of my wallet when it runs during the day. Anyways, it's quiet and Aimee and the kids know not to really bother me when I'm in there working os it works out well.

In other news, my mom is here this whole week. Yay! It's so nice having her around, I wish sometimes that she just lived here with us :( The girls love having a grandma so much, and it's so nice to have family around. I don't even think we'd mind having her just live with us in the same house...heh, she'd probably go crazy though having to live in our house with our crazy style.

Life has been interesting lately, we have a lot going on and it seems like we have no one to talk to about it all. I know some of the reasons why, but it just seems like the Wickershams are alone an awful lot these days. On top of that, I have been sick for like 3 weeks now. I guess I need to break down and just go to the doctor. I hate going to the doctor though. I know I have friends that are doctors, so I'm sorry if you read this. I think I have written about this before, but the doctor always tells me two things. "It's a virus and there's nothing I can do." This is sometimes accompanied by, "I'm going to give you antibiotics for no real reason other than you might get an infection to accompany your virus." This really pisses me off, btw. The second is, "You're too fat." Now, I know I'm fat but I really don't think that every illness I've had since I was 15 stems from the fact that I'm overweight. Apparently, I'm 'morbidly obese' because I'm 5'8" and I way 200 pounds. Even when I was really trim and fit and ran and did Aikido 3 times a week I weighed 180 pounds. Ironically, I went to the doctor then when I was hard as a rock and in the best shape I've been in since college and the doctor told me I was sick because I was too fat. Whatever, I won't keep ranting about this, my point was just that I'm sure when I go to the doctor they're going to tell me I have a virus and I'm too fat and that's why I can't get rid of this rattling cough I've had for 3 weeks.

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Posted in: family,friends,work

Second Try Today

Well, I wrote a detailed and erudite post about the trials and tribulations of being a foster parent earlier today but something happened and it was all lost. Second tries are never as good, so I'll just pretend like it never happened and make another post for the first time.

So, last night Aimes went an picked up one of our new foster placements. There are two ways to go about dealing with transitioning foster kids. Our last long term placement (Kayla and Carly) was followed by almost two months with no kids. It was terribly difficult for me because I was so attached to them. I missed them so much when they were gone and the feeling of no longer being a dad was gut wrenching. I still miss them at odd times, they were our first *real* placement and I don't know if I'll ever really get over them being gone. I know that they're better off and probably a lot happier, but I still miss them something fierce. Sometimes when I'm driving I'll think about some silly thing Kayla would say or some goofy face Carly would make and it makes me cry. I can only imagine it will be worse when Mariah and Mercedes leave if only because they're so young. So this time, instead of worrying about going months with no kids we have acquired a new placement before the girls leave. In a way, I am afraid this is gonna rob us of some of our last real loving moments with them but in other ways I think it will help us to transition them. So back to the story, Aimee went and picked Jalen (8 months) and brought him home yesterday afternoon. I was greeted with his little smiling face when I got home from work and Maria and Merc were so darn excited to have a baby in the house. We were talking and, SURPRISE, older brother was getting dropped off a little later. My oh my, did we have a night in store for us. Older brother is Myrie (20 months) and is about where Mardog was when we got her developmentally speaking. He is a big boy though! Taller than Mariah now and strong as an ox. Mariah keeps calling him Taylor too, which is cute because that's what she calls Tyler, the other boy she knows from church. Very cute! Well, needless to say, thank GOODNESS Justin and Brittany live here! Having Brit here is like having another mom in the house, and Justin is amazing with kids despite what he thinks. He freaking sat in a chair today for an hour watching beauty and the beast with Jalen and Mercedes. It was cute.

Anyways, the day is over (mostly) and the kids are all in bed. 4 freaking kids1 The house is still somewhat in one piece as I worked hard all day to keep up with them. They're all good kids but this first week is gonna be really sketchy as they all try to figure out what they can get away with and how they will manage to carve out a piece of our attention for themselves. All in all, it's a blessing and we're really happy they're here! Poor Mariah is the one that it is hitting the hardest I think, she is used to being the youngest and getting all the attention and now there are 2 smaller than her and she is sort of the older kid. She peed her pants twice today which I'm sure is an attention getting ploy. Mercedes was a great girl all day long, she is actually a big help, but lost control at the end of the day and threw a tantrum.

Sigh, just one more thing, I think the pressure finally got to me a little bit at the end of the night and I got locked up the way I used to when I couldn't get my words out. It was actually kind of funny because I couldn't stop stuttering until Aimee asked me if I was stuttering and I yelled shut up to her, and then went right back to trying to say what I was saying before and still couldn't get it out. It was sort of like, "mmm...m...mmmm....mmmmmmmm....mmmmmaaaa...SHUT UP....mmmmm....mmmmmm....mmmmmmatress"

Kind of funny, but I am a little concerned because it has literally been at least a decade since that happened to me. Pray for me!

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Posted in: family,friends

The hardest part

There are so many things that make being a parent difficult. The messes, the lack of privacy, the lack of down time, so many things. I think the hardest part, though, is dealing with kids when they lie. I don't know if it's harder when they are foster kids or if all kids are liars, but it makes things so frustrating. The funny thing is, kids are horrible liars. I used to think my parents were amazing detectives when I was younger, they found out everything I did as if by magic. Now I realized it's because kids are stupid. I guess stupid is the wrong word, they're just terrible liars. Any by terrible liars I mean stupid.

Last night, we got home from the BBQ and Mercedes told me to look at the fish tank because the water was cloudy. I looked at the water and sure enough it was like pea soup (has anyone actually seen pee soup? I haven't but I can only imagine). Then I noticed that the bottom of the fish tank was absolutely covered with fish food. I had shown Mercedes how to feed the fish earlier in the morning, a TINY pinch of food. Well, assuming that Aimee didn't get hit in the head by a stupid hammer, Mercedes must have been feeding the fish constantly during the day and not telling us. That, or Mariah figured out how to bring in a ladder, feed the fish, and then hide the ladder. So Mercedes lied, lied, lied about putting the food in. Then she admitted it after I grilled her long enough. One of the fish died despite by best efforts to get them in a tank with fresher, un-poisoned water.

Then, it was morning time. I woke up and cam out to my computer. Out prances little Mercedes and tattles on Mariah. "Mariah is eating chips." So I go look and sure enough Mariah has two fistfuls of BBQ chips and is chowing down. I take them from her and put her in time out (and managed not to laugh at the site...it's pretty funny to watch a 2yo double fisting BBQ Lays). Anyways, I put Mariah in time out and went on my business. Then Aimee mentions that I might want to check Mercedes and see if she had any. Sure enough, the kid stinks to BBQ heaven. Dangit man. Lies lies lies. I don't even understand what makes her lie...I hardly ever get mad at her for being stupid, I really only ever get mad when she lies.

Anyways, this is life. Hope this winds up being a good week. I'm ready for one.

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Posted in: family

Well, it's Saturday

Today is going to be a busy day. Our 4 best friends are all moving (luckily they only live in 2 different houses :) and I'm looking forward to a big day of helping. I love moving. It's weird, I think it's because my whole life people in my family have moved constantly. It's like a big fun family thing when people move. It's also Memorial Day weekend, which will bring welcome relief from work. The weather is also beautiful, which is really strange because it should be hot as balls right about now (knock on wood) in Phoenix. Seriously, last night we were freezing, it dipped down into the low 50's overnight and I don't think it's slated to go much over 70 today. It must be all those college kids bringing their midwestern weather back for us (thanks nicole!).

Speaking of work, yesterday was so hard. It seems like things have been coming to a head for 2 weeks at work and nothing happens (that's what she said). Yesterday there was a big ordeal about some stupid database userid and it caused a commotion in 3 different teams that wound up getting a bunch of directors in a room arguing for an hour. There are things I love about my job and things I hate, yesterday I hated it. It didn't help that during the middle of the day I had to take Mercedes across town for a hair appointment during my lunch break, which meant I didn't get to eat lunch, which meant I was cranky and irritable all day long. There was also a huge mixup around the payment for said hair which I won't get into but it did not help things at all. I have such mixed emotions about weddings in general, I won't get into it because I know it's not a good time to talk about it. It makes me a bit nervous because I'm officiating a wedding in October for one of my best friends who shares my opinions on marriage almost to a tee. This would be a great thing but I'm not sure his wife does and it might be incredibly stressful for everyone involved if things don't go well. I'll just say for the two of them that I hope they can remember that the wedding is supposed to be a joyous occasion that is about sharing your love and commitment with God, family, and friends. No one will remember whether you had wine from Costco or some fancy vineyard in California. Also, I really like cream puffs and shrimp, I have never been to a wedding that had creme puffs and shrimp that I didn't thoroughly enjoy.

Enough on weddings, I'll just say that I'm glad it's saturday and I don't have to think about weddings or work for 3 whole days. I'm really excited to get to moving, so I'm gonna jet and start getting Mercedes' new room in order!

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Posted in: family,florida,friends,work

Last night

Was strange. All of my friends were either at a bachelor or bachelorette party. I was home alone with the kids. Strangely, I was totally ok with that. I scored some free carpet at Mercedes' school and hopefully it will be enough do our storage room turned get away room. One thing I love about being at home alone with the kiddos is cooking for them. I know Aimee's palate and it is just a wee bit on the shy side, but I can pretty much try anything with the kids. I thawed out some cube steak and made a quick marinade of soy sauce (thanks Jonathan!), garlic, onion, white wine vinegar, basil, and just a hint of cumin. I boiled some potatoes and mashed them with milk, garlic, and butter. I also steamed some green beans and served them up with olive oil, salt, and black pepper. The steak I sautéed in half butter and half vegetable oil (and maybe just a liiiiitle bacon fat for flavor). It was delicious. I love cooking for the girls. They are brutally honest. They will both wrinkle up their little faces if they don't like something and push it away. The other night Mariah was actually gagging while she was eating asparagus. I think it's cool that they are being exposed to vegetables like asparagus, okra, collard greens, brussels sprouts, and just about every kind of bean you can think of. It will be good for them later in life I think. Anyways, they loved dinner last night, Mercedes had two helpings of meat and cleaned her plate. You know you've done the vegetables right when they wipe them out within the first few minutes of dinner. Even Mariah plowed through her meal... something quite rare if you can believe it. Then the girls took a shower together, something they love to do, and we got ready for bed. There was no crying and we said our prayers and sang for a few minutes, then Mar rolled over and went right to sleep (Hallelujah!) All in all, it was an easy night to have them alone. Then I pretty much watched tv (American Idol!) and texted the night away.

The only hard part about the night was really the sleeping part. It is so hard to sleep without Aimee. I tried sleeping in our bed because I knew I needed a good nights sleep and it was miserable. I woke up like every hour and kept hearing noises. I have bad dreams when Aimee isn't here too... mostly snakes though there is the ever present 'I can't see' dream that I have had since childhood. Last night it was rattlesnakes in the garage at my parents house and then also in a swamp chasing me. Who knew they could climb trees. I did have fun bashing in their heads with a baseball bat in my parents garage, but I paid for it later. I really wish I knew what it was about snakes that terrifies me. I mean, they make me physically ill when I see them move and they haunt my dreams continuously... this is not normal behavior. Also, Mariah is funny because she talks in her sleep. Sometimes, she will let out one really loud yell and then just go back to sleep. She did this last night. It freaked me out. Normally she doesn't wake me up at night, Aimee just gets up with her. I think I can normally sleep through it because I know Aimee is solid when it comes to getting up with the baby. I should be clear, I didn't get up with her, I just woke up when she screamed. I laid there and she fell back to sleep...so I didn't get up :)

Anyways, pray we have a good morning, Mar if finishing her breathing treatment and we have to get ready and get to school. Peace!

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Posted in: family,friends,home improvement,interests