oh man

So today has been the day to end all days. First of all, I hurt my back playing FREAKING volleyball...I am getting so old. I had to take the day off of work yesterday to just lay on the couch and recuperate. It sucked; I mean, I got to watch like 15 episodes of the West Wing but it still sucked. I have so much to do around the house and I can't hardly freaking move. Blargh! So just to keep this short (because So You Think You Can Dance is on) this morning Mercedes freaking went ballistic. If you haven't seen her lose it I can't even explain it to you. Screaming at the top of her lungs...like ear piercing, blood curdling screaming. She was kicking the bed, kicking the walls, kicking the doors. It was awful. So, I put her in the crib. Call me an asshole, but I just can't stand a 5 year old acting like that. So I put her in the crib. Frankly, I'm not sure if there was any other way to keep her from hurting herself. So she had to go to school and hadn't stopped crying, I just picked her up and put her in her car seat. All told, she didn't stop screaming and crying (and kicking the back of my car seat ) until I left her in her classroom. She was so embarrassed to be left in school with messy hair and no shoes, she shut herself up immediately. Then we get home tonight, she goes ballistic again (after promising me she wouldn't do it anymore). Dangit man. It was so bad this time, she actually did hurt herself. She kicked her wardrobe and wound up cutting her ankle on the corner. I finally got her to calm down and we talked about how to punish her. She actually impressed me and told me in a calm voice that she really didn't want to go to bed early (sometimes when she throws fits we make her go to bed early, basically stay in bed all night) and we came up with a new kind of punishment (because she agreed that she needed to be punished for throwing a big ole fit). So, we entered the world of writing your name X-hundred times on a piece of paper. Heh heh, tell me I'm not destined to teach. We sat down at her desk and I showed her how to write her name across the top of a piece of lined paper (3 times...Mercedes is one heck of a first name) and told her she needed to fill the front and back of a piece of lined paper. So she really attacked it, and spent an hour writing. Meanwhile, Mariah and I had a fun night; pizza for dinner and a game of "I got your booty", which is basically tickle time. Then when Merc finally finished Mariah went ballistic. Argh. At least they spread it out. Arrrgghhhh! It kills you to just hear non-stop screaming for 3 hours. Bleh. I want to get drunk.

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Posted in: family

In a funk tonight

I don't know why, I'm just in a rotten mood right now. I can't really explain it, I had a good day at work and I am having an enjoyable evening with the wife and kids. I don't know why this happens to me, but I just get in a funk sometimes. I had an interesting conversation with Adam today. Actually, it feels like I spent most of my day at work talking with Adam about various things. I'm not sure if I'll get to my scheduled task in the 'garden' tonight, but I'm hoping to at least get some plumbing supplies at the Depot after the girls go to bed. Hopefully I'll get up early in the morning and get out there before everyone else is up and about. Thankfully, it seems to be 'cooling' off a little bit. I think we're officially in monsoon season now.

More later

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Posted in: family,friends,hobbies

Ahhhh, Sweet Relief

Aimee's home. Finally! I do not do well when I am away from her. I don't often think about it this way, but we've been together for 10 years. Freak! It's hard to imagine that I've spent almost a third of my life with my wife. Not in a bad way, it's just unreal that all of the stuff in my life, including my entire time in school and growing up and learning to talk and what no, was only twice as long as the time I've been with Aimes. Anyways, it is difficult to be apart from her for even a night, weeks are unbearable. I'm so thankful that my mom was in town when Aimee had to leave. Aimee managed to watch the kids by herself for a week but I could never do it. She is amazing!

On another note, I had a fun 4th of July! We had a young adult party at my house that turned out to be a lot of fun. I have got to get a Wii, that thing is so freaking fun. We swam, we played games, Nicole pretended to be Alyssa so Mariah could get to sleep. The kids love playing with Tyler, I wish they could spend more time together. Beth et al took Mercedes to see the fireworks and she had a freaking great time. I got a 'smoking' deal on a bbq smoker at Lowe's (hahaha) and we cooked 2 chickens and a pork shoulder (Actually just the butt heh). I made my own rub and had it goin all day. Ironically, it isn't hard at all to keep the temperature up in Phoenix in the summer. So, 6 hours later we had some awesome smoked chicken at the party. 12 hours in, mom and I got the pork butt off and shared some unbelievable pulled pork sandwiches (at 8:30 pm heh heh)

Finally, today was the first day that our new pastor was at worship. Part of me didn't want to like him, just because I was so close to Gary, but I have to admit he is pretty fantastic. He seems like quite a character, has red hair and a serious accent (MinnesOOOda I would say) and gave a great sermon. He apparently ran out of time in the first service, so he just didn't give a sermon! Wow! I had to go into his office after the service and set up his computer and I had a chance to chat with him briefly. I am honestly looking forward to working with him. I will also say, that his office is decorated very nicely. It looks like his couch and chairs are from Ikea, very modern. I also noticed that he has some very funky curtains hung up. Cool beans!

More later!

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Posted in: church,family

Someone has a case of the Mondays :(

Well, it's Monday. I guess the only good thing you can say about Mondays is I get to work from home. It's nice to not have to get up and get cleaned up and head into work on Monday mornings, it's sort of like having a 'practice' day for the rest of the week. Get up, get the kids off to school and come back home with a donut from QT (Krispy Kreme yay!) and a Diet Coke and sit down to the computer to go over my email from the weekend. I have a pretty nice office at home, but it can be hot as blazes this time of year. Plus, it's on a separate A/C ( a window unit) and I can just feel money burning out of my wallet when it runs during the day. Anyways, it's quiet and Aimee and the kids know not to really bother me when I'm in there working os it works out well.

In other news, my mom is here this whole week. Yay! It's so nice having her around, I wish sometimes that she just lived here with us :( The girls love having a grandma so much, and it's so nice to have family around. I don't even think we'd mind having her just live with us in the same house...heh, she'd probably go crazy though having to live in our house with our crazy style.

Life has been interesting lately, we have a lot going on and it seems like we have no one to talk to about it all. I know some of the reasons why, but it just seems like the Wickershams are alone an awful lot these days. On top of that, I have been sick for like 3 weeks now. I guess I need to break down and just go to the doctor. I hate going to the doctor though. I know I have friends that are doctors, so I'm sorry if you read this. I think I have written about this before, but the doctor always tells me two things. "It's a virus and there's nothing I can do." This is sometimes accompanied by, "I'm going to give you antibiotics for no real reason other than you might get an infection to accompany your virus." This really pisses me off, btw. The second is, "You're too fat." Now, I know I'm fat but I really don't think that every illness I've had since I was 15 stems from the fact that I'm overweight. Apparently, I'm 'morbidly obese' because I'm 5'8" and I way 200 pounds. Even when I was really trim and fit and ran and did Aikido 3 times a week I weighed 180 pounds. Ironically, I went to the doctor then when I was hard as a rock and in the best shape I've been in since college and the doctor told me I was sick because I was too fat. Whatever, I won't keep ranting about this, my point was just that I'm sure when I go to the doctor they're going to tell me I have a virus and I'm too fat and that's why I can't get rid of this rattling cough I've had for 3 weeks.

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Posted in: family,friends,work

Tomorrow is the day

Well, tomorrow I have my meeting with the District Committee of Ordained Ministry. This is the group of people who will go over everything I have done so far and decide whether to certify me for ministry. Without their approval, I won't be ordained in the UMC. This is sort of the first 'real' test I have to see if I have what it takes. I had to take a crazy amount of Psychiatric exams and I have been meeting with a mentor for almost 8 months. I am really curious to see what it is like. On one hand, I want it to be a bit of an adversarial process because if I'm not fit for the ministry I want to find out sooner rather than later, but on the other hand I know I am being called and it is hard for me to seek the approval of people who don't really know me very well. Oh well, we'll see! I hope that I am able to communicate well, I have been wicked stressed out and emotional for the past few months and I hope I can be myself and be honest about everything.

In other news, I got a B in my history class. I am really thankful for the grade, I'm not sure I deserved it. Now I just have to keep plugging away at my New Testament class and get through all the videos before the summer ends. I'm so thankful that the prof let me take an incomplete!

Peace!

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Posted in: interests,school

Second Try Today

Well, I wrote a detailed and erudite post about the trials and tribulations of being a foster parent earlier today but something happened and it was all lost. Second tries are never as good, so I'll just pretend like it never happened and make another post for the first time.

So, last night Aimes went an picked up one of our new foster placements. There are two ways to go about dealing with transitioning foster kids. Our last long term placement (Kayla and Carly) was followed by almost two months with no kids. It was terribly difficult for me because I was so attached to them. I missed them so much when they were gone and the feeling of no longer being a dad was gut wrenching. I still miss them at odd times, they were our first *real* placement and I don't know if I'll ever really get over them being gone. I know that they're better off and probably a lot happier, but I still miss them something fierce. Sometimes when I'm driving I'll think about some silly thing Kayla would say or some goofy face Carly would make and it makes me cry. I can only imagine it will be worse when Mariah and Mercedes leave if only because they're so young. So this time, instead of worrying about going months with no kids we have acquired a new placement before the girls leave. In a way, I am afraid this is gonna rob us of some of our last real loving moments with them but in other ways I think it will help us to transition them. So back to the story, Aimee went and picked Jalen (8 months) and brought him home yesterday afternoon. I was greeted with his little smiling face when I got home from work and Maria and Merc were so darn excited to have a baby in the house. We were talking and, SURPRISE, older brother was getting dropped off a little later. My oh my, did we have a night in store for us. Older brother is Myrie (20 months) and is about where Mardog was when we got her developmentally speaking. He is a big boy though! Taller than Mariah now and strong as an ox. Mariah keeps calling him Taylor too, which is cute because that's what she calls Tyler, the other boy she knows from church. Very cute! Well, needless to say, thank GOODNESS Justin and Brittany live here! Having Brit here is like having another mom in the house, and Justin is amazing with kids despite what he thinks. He freaking sat in a chair today for an hour watching beauty and the beast with Jalen and Mercedes. It was cute.

Anyways, the day is over (mostly) and the kids are all in bed. 4 freaking kids1 The house is still somewhat in one piece as I worked hard all day to keep up with them. They're all good kids but this first week is gonna be really sketchy as they all try to figure out what they can get away with and how they will manage to carve out a piece of our attention for themselves. All in all, it's a blessing and we're really happy they're here! Poor Mariah is the one that it is hitting the hardest I think, she is used to being the youngest and getting all the attention and now there are 2 smaller than her and she is sort of the older kid. She peed her pants twice today which I'm sure is an attention getting ploy. Mercedes was a great girl all day long, she is actually a big help, but lost control at the end of the day and threw a tantrum.

Sigh, just one more thing, I think the pressure finally got to me a little bit at the end of the night and I got locked up the way I used to when I couldn't get my words out. It was actually kind of funny because I couldn't stop stuttering until Aimee asked me if I was stuttering and I yelled shut up to her, and then went right back to trying to say what I was saying before and still couldn't get it out. It was sort of like, "mmm...m...mmmm....mmmmmmmm....mmmmmaaaa...SHUT UP....mmmmm....mmmmmm....mmmmmmatress"

Kind of funny, but I am a little concerned because it has literally been at least a decade since that happened to me. Pray for me!

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Posted in: family,friends

The hardest part

There are so many things that make being a parent difficult. The messes, the lack of privacy, the lack of down time, so many things. I think the hardest part, though, is dealing with kids when they lie. I don't know if it's harder when they are foster kids or if all kids are liars, but it makes things so frustrating. The funny thing is, kids are horrible liars. I used to think my parents were amazing detectives when I was younger, they found out everything I did as if by magic. Now I realized it's because kids are stupid. I guess stupid is the wrong word, they're just terrible liars. Any by terrible liars I mean stupid.

Last night, we got home from the BBQ and Mercedes told me to look at the fish tank because the water was cloudy. I looked at the water and sure enough it was like pea soup (has anyone actually seen pee soup? I haven't but I can only imagine). Then I noticed that the bottom of the fish tank was absolutely covered with fish food. I had shown Mercedes how to feed the fish earlier in the morning, a TINY pinch of food. Well, assuming that Aimee didn't get hit in the head by a stupid hammer, Mercedes must have been feeding the fish constantly during the day and not telling us. That, or Mariah figured out how to bring in a ladder, feed the fish, and then hide the ladder. So Mercedes lied, lied, lied about putting the food in. Then she admitted it after I grilled her long enough. One of the fish died despite by best efforts to get them in a tank with fresher, un-poisoned water.

Then, it was morning time. I woke up and cam out to my computer. Out prances little Mercedes and tattles on Mariah. "Mariah is eating chips." So I go look and sure enough Mariah has two fistfuls of BBQ chips and is chowing down. I take them from her and put her in time out (and managed not to laugh at the site...it's pretty funny to watch a 2yo double fisting BBQ Lays). Anyways, I put Mariah in time out and went on my business. Then Aimee mentions that I might want to check Mercedes and see if she had any. Sure enough, the kid stinks to BBQ heaven. Dangit man. Lies lies lies. I don't even understand what makes her lie...I hardly ever get mad at her for being stupid, I really only ever get mad when she lies.

Anyways, this is life. Hope this winds up being a good week. I'm ready for one.

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Posted in: family