Last night

Was strange. All of my friends were either at a bachelor or bachelorette party. I was home alone with the kids. Strangely, I was totally ok with that. I scored some free carpet at Mercedes' school and hopefully it will be enough do our storage room turned get away room. One thing I love about being at home alone with the kiddos is cooking for them. I know Aimee's palate and it is just a wee bit on the shy side, but I can pretty much try anything with the kids. I thawed out some cube steak and made a quick marinade of soy sauce (thanks Jonathan!), garlic, onion, white wine vinegar, basil, and just a hint of cumin. I boiled some potatoes and mashed them with milk, garlic, and butter. I also steamed some green beans and served them up with olive oil, salt, and black pepper. The steak I sautéed in half butter and half vegetable oil (and maybe just a liiiiitle bacon fat for flavor). It was delicious. I love cooking for the girls. They are brutally honest. They will both wrinkle up their little faces if they don't like something and push it away. The other night Mariah was actually gagging while she was eating asparagus. I think it's cool that they are being exposed to vegetables like asparagus, okra, collard greens, brussels sprouts, and just about every kind of bean you can think of. It will be good for them later in life I think. Anyways, they loved dinner last night, Mercedes had two helpings of meat and cleaned her plate. You know you've done the vegetables right when they wipe them out within the first few minutes of dinner. Even Mariah plowed through her meal... something quite rare if you can believe it. Then the girls took a shower together, something they love to do, and we got ready for bed. There was no crying and we said our prayers and sang for a few minutes, then Mar rolled over and went right to sleep (Hallelujah!) All in all, it was an easy night to have them alone. Then I pretty much watched tv (American Idol!) and texted the night away.

The only hard part about the night was really the sleeping part. It is so hard to sleep without Aimee. I tried sleeping in our bed because I knew I needed a good nights sleep and it was miserable. I woke up like every hour and kept hearing noises. I have bad dreams when Aimee isn't here too... mostly snakes though there is the ever present 'I can't see' dream that I have had since childhood. Last night it was rattlesnakes in the garage at my parents house and then also in a swamp chasing me. Who knew they could climb trees. I did have fun bashing in their heads with a baseball bat in my parents garage, but I paid for it later. I really wish I knew what it was about snakes that terrifies me. I mean, they make me physically ill when I see them move and they haunt my dreams continuously... this is not normal behavior. Also, Mariah is funny because she talks in her sleep. Sometimes, she will let out one really loud yell and then just go back to sleep. She did this last night. It freaked me out. Normally she doesn't wake me up at night, Aimee just gets up with her. I think I can normally sleep through it because I know Aimee is solid when it comes to getting up with the baby. I should be clear, I didn't get up with her, I just woke up when she screamed. I laid there and she fell back to sleep...so I didn't get up :)

Anyways, pray we have a good morning, Mar if finishing her breathing treatment and we have to get ready and get to school. Peace!

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Posted in: family,friends,home improvement,interests

And my pool

And I can't sign off without commenting on my pool. We had to drain our pool this weekend - it was a disaster. I should have drained it last year but it is such a hassle. The water in Phoenix is so hard that over time it's like you're swimming in chalk. It just about becomes impossible to maintain the chemistry in the pool. So, we drained it. It was stressful. I think our main drain is seriously clogged ( I have never noticed any water movement down there) and so I had to rent a drain pump from Home Depot. Holy crap that thing was awesome! The downer was, of course, that the discharge hose from the pump didn't come close to fitting into our cute little sewer clean out pipe and even if it had I don't think it could have handled the flow. So, I went into my alley, located a manhole cover, and popped it out. Down goes the hose, on goes the pump, away goes the water. I was seriously stressed out about it because my neighbor on one side is a cop and the one behind me has gotten on me about pool water and trash and stuff...so I didn't want to piss him off. All things considered, it was pretty cool watching it drain away. When it finished, Aimee and I spent a few hours (late at night) cleaning the surface and pressure washing away the scum that accumulates over the years. We were really hoping we might find someone to resurface it for us but the bank said NO THANK YOU when we looked into getting some money. I guess we're in a recession and a housing crunch. I can't wait until things cool off and people get back on their feet...it's going to be hard for us to sell this house unless we can do some things like resurface the pool and what not. Anyways, it was empty and clean and we decided to just fill it back up this evening after getting some CRAZY quotes to resurface. So, as we speak I have two hoses spilling forth into the depths and hopefully tomorrow night it will be full. What a freaking crazy week. At least now the pool will be nice and clean and we can start having some parties :)

I also got some cute pictures of Aimee sweeping the pool. She is the coolest wife ever!

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Posted in: home improvement,real estate

The end is near

Well, tomorrow is officially the last day of my Spring semester. I did take an incomplete in my New Testament class because 3 classes was just way too much for me with all that has gone on so far this year. I was looking back and I had a hard time convincing myself that it really was during this semester that I went to Florida twice in one month. I can't believe how difficult it has been to deal with the loss of my grandmother...even though I knew it was coming, it still hit me like a ton of bricks. On top of that, this whole business with my reproductive system and the "C" scare (I am not superstitions...I just can't say the word) has just made it impossible to think. So, in the end, my final paper for my history class isn't what I had hoped it would be ... but it is. I will really just be glad to get out of this semester with passing grades for my classes (crossing my fingers).

On that note, I'd like to comment on one of the classes I took. I have sort of always referred to it as my 'hippie' class and I really didn't have much faith in it being interesting back in September. Turns out, as these things often do, that it was the most important class I have ever taken in anything. I am pretty sure that I would have quit school and given up on being a pastor if it hadn't been for this Discernment class. I realized that I have never sat down and just listened. Not thought, not grappled or wrestled, just listened. It's amazing what your lower intestines will tell you about your path in life. It sort of sounds weird to me to think that God speaks to me through a tense upper back and a rumbling stomach... at least it's better than a burning bush or a staff that turns into a snake (AHHH!). Anyways, I won't go on and on about what it was that I got out of this class (it's hard to even describe) but I'll just say that it was great and I'm going to do my best to try and spread some of it in my ministry (such as it is) to young adults. So if you're a young adult, beware! I come armed with a new hippy manifesto.

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Posted in: family,florida,friends,school

I am so stimulated!

Thank you George Bush, thank you for the $1200 check. All is forgiven, I promise. Now I will always remember you as 'one of the greats'.

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Posted in: sarcasm

Another day another ...

sick stomach. Really, what the heck is wrong with me? I guess I should go to the doctor at some point since I have a sick stomach every day. Is it normal to have guess all the time? By all the time I mean I could literally pass gas at any moment during the day, every day. And every time I eat something other than rice and plain white chicken I get a sick stomach. Is this out of the ordinary? I think that I have a serious problem trusting doctors since every doctor I have ever been has told me that there is nothing they can do to fix what is wrong. Oh, and for like 10 years I had the same doctor and he always told me that my problem was I was too fat. Didn't matter why I went to the doctor: allergies - you're too fat, sprained ankle - you're too fat, back spasms - you're too fat, and of course chronic stomach ailment - you're too fat. I know I'm too fat. I've been too fat since I was in 9th grade. This is what happens when you are skin and bones until you're 12. Everyone in your family forces you to eat. A lot. It doesn't help that my family is from the south and we had gravy with every meal. And, of course, my dad grew up in rural Montana at the tail end of the depression so we were an 'eat everything on your plate' kind of family. But I don't think I'm so fat that it's the cause of my every illness. Seriously, when I would get strep throat Dr. Salazar (Oh MIMA, how I miss thee...NOT) would tell me I was too fat.

Anyways, that was not at all the reason I decided to blog tonight. What I really wanted to say was that we got the window framed in and drywalled. It kicks ass. I think that room is going to be amazing. I am going to put in a solar-tube type skylight and throw some recessed light cans up in the ceiling for night time 'mood lighting'. It will be a great 'media room' and I think a bonus when we go to sell the house. Also, it was highly necessary if we were ever going to wall in the carport. Along those lines I hired a guy off of Craigslist to do help with the job and it was fun working with him. It reminded me of the 3(!) years we spent remodeling our house in Florida and our kick-ass neighbor Curtis who taught me just about everything I know when it comes to construction. Dean was super cool and we had a lot of time to chit-chat while the mud was drying. His wife was dilated and contracting last night but he came anyway and today she still hadn't given birth. I told him about my schooling (hey, it came up) and that I was hoping to be a pastor and he thought that was super cool. He asked me a lot of questions and it made me realize that to a lot of people that's A Really Big Deal, I forget that some people really have a thing about clergy and the way they treat them. He told me when he left tonight that it had been a real pleasure to work with me and it was great to have clients that were friendly and cared about him. Of course we talked a bit about Scottsdale people (heh sorry if the shoe fits) and what it's like to work for them. hhhhhhh (that was me cleaning a bit of grease or something off of my 'h' key).

Well, off to bed, I'll do my best to get some pics up of the finished wall and maybe a few pics of it in the process. I told Dean (the guy from Craigslist) that I would pray for his wife and their baby and I certainly will, it seemed to really mean a lot to him. Still no word on the medical testing, hopefully there is nothing really scary going on or they would have called me. I'm probably still just too fat.

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Posted in: family,home improvement,interests

G'Night all

Well this was a strange day. Interestingly enough, it ended with a wonderful phone conversation with my pops. He really is amazing, he continues to inspire me. I love you daddy-o.

The ultrasound was really, really strange. I'm not sure what to make of it or when I'll find out any info about the results but I'll be sure to let everyone know.

G'night.

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Posted in: family,florida,friends

So, it's been a few days...

Well, it's been an interesting few weeks. As you know, Aimee and I have been trying to have a baby for a REALLY long time. In fact, we've pretty much been trying continuously for our entire marriage (6 years this month). Well, we went to a fertility doctor to try and figure out whether or not something medical was preventing it from happening or if it was just incredibly bad luck.

Let me preface this by saying that Aimee and both have the utmost faith that God will give us a baby if He wants us to have one. We have known since we were dating, really, that we would foster/adopt many children through the course of our marriage. I have known since I was a young boy that there was a chance that I would have trouble in this area because I had a surgery that 'could' affect my abilities. When we began foster care they flagged this as a serious issue because we hadn't 'dealt' with the reality that we weren't going to have children. A bit of an overreaction in my book since neither one of us knew for certain that we couldn't. In fact, the reality of the situation is that if they told both of us that we were completely sterile we would still believe that God could give us a baby if He wanted us to have one. In fact, I have known people who were 'sterile' that have had multiple children. Regardless, we feel like it's time to find out if there is something we need to get fixed for it to happen.

So we started going through some serious testing to find out how 'normal' we are. If you don't believe that it's time for some universal health care in this country, try going to the doctor for a procedure that isn't covered by your insurance. I have a good job and make a shit-ton of money. We own two houses, have investment and retirement accounts, and have (almost) impeccable credit. The doctor wouldn't let us leave the office without paying, cash, $500 for the first round of testing. Makes you feel great knowing that you might have a serious medical condition but because your insurance company miscommunicated with the doctor's office you are treated like a criminal-to-be. It's pretty terrifying to watch your savings go from a respectable state of robust-ness to nothing over the period of 1 month as the doctor orders test after test after test after test.

So the end result is that Aimee is basically fine (I'll let her comment on what she found out on her own) and I have some serious issues. It was heart breaking and terrifying. If you're a doctor and you're reading this, take some advice from me. You should never follow a traumatic statement of a man's inability to produce sperm with, "We also need to check this out and find out if it's a cyst or cancer or a disease causing a hormone imbalance." I understand that cancer might not be the menace it once was from a doctor's point of view...but regular people like me still hear it and assume it means you're going to die. I know it's not rational, but you should be careful just the same. Maybe throw in a few sentences like, "There is probably nothing wrong with you" or "My aren't you a fine husband" between "bad sperm" and "cancer".

On that note, it's interesting being in a fertility clinic. The entire staff there was female (part of the reason Aimee chose it, I think) and you kind of get the feel that everyone is a bit hopeful, supportive, and caring. Other than the bad choice of words in her office, the main doctor at the place is a very sweet woman. The nurses are very nice. The billing lady not so much, but that's her job I suppose. They wanted me to go into a waiting room and wait for Aimee to get some follow up work done. I was alone and started to cry. I was trying REALLY hard to hide it but the doctor came in and saw me and gave me a hug. It was a little strange but it was comforting. I then had to go and give blood (Yay! My favorite thing in the world!) and sat there with tears rolling down my cheeks the whole time. I really hope that she thought I was scared of needles.

Then it was time to go talk to the billing lady about our 'options'. This basically amounted to them telling us how we could have a baby if we were rich. She told me the price, I said it might as well be a million dollars, she said that's too bad and handed me a brochure for a bank that loaned money to people so they could have a baby. They are also nice enough to charge 10% interest. I'm not going to imply that I think that's shady in the least but it seems like they should be a little more reserved about the 'buy a pregnancy' thing. Maybe wait a week or something and approach people when they're not falling off of an emotional cliff face.

Anyways, the point of this blog (can I tell you how nice it is to write something not for school and not care about my use of the passive voice or sounding like I know what I'm talking about?) was to let you all know that I have several appointments in the near future to determine whether or not there is something wrong with me. Tonight, I have the ultrasound to see if there are any lumps or masses or whatever doctor-types call them. Then I have to go give more blood later this week. Then I have to go to a urologist and let them do 'whatever' to me.

I'm terrified. I know I shouldn't be, most likely it's just the surgery I had when I was young. I do know 3 people my age or YOUNGER that have had testicular cancer, which seems statistically unlikely. I don't know what the numbers are but it seems like they should be a lot lower than that. Also, my best friend just got hit by a tennis ball in the 'tennis balls' (if you know what I mean) and seems to be having some serious problems in that area. I don't think that has anything to do with this, but I sort of wanted to know if he was reading or not.

The plus side is that I have been incredibly distracted the past three or four weeks from my school work and I am way behind. Frankly, I'm having a hard time caring whether or not I pass or if I even continue. I'm sure everyone feels that way now and again and I'll admit I'm dealing with just a little bit of depression right now. I already had to request and incomplete from one class because I just can't handle the load and I'm going to just shoot for not failing the other two. I'll write more in the future on school, ministry, and the future of the Wickershams because I realize that this is really long already.


See ya.

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Posted in: family,friends