The end is near

So many things seem like they're coming to an end: school is almost over (can you believe we have a paper due on Dec 29?), our time 'working' at CITD is over, the pregnancy is almost over, the holidays are almost over, and football season is almost over (Go Gators!).  It's crazy to look back and remember this year, it has definitely been the most up and down year I can remember... so much has happened it is almost impossible to believe it was all in 1 year!  Started with Christmas/New Years Eve in Florida, then the two trips in the spring to be with the family as we let Nannie go be with the Lord, then the infertility stuff and the treatments, the layoffs at work, new pastor at church, the pregnancy,  saying goodbye to M&M, having like 10 foster kids in 2 months, J&B moving in and moving out, having A&R move in, the Psych eval and becoming a certified candidate in the UMC, the house being robbed.  Yikes, big year.  On top of that, I have been doing my darndest to stay on top of school and the house and still be involved in the family and the church.  Ttthhhhhhhhhhhhpppppppptttt.  Almost too much to imagine.  

Oh well, I guess that is life.  It's interesting to try and remember what life was like when I was younger, college aged or younger I guess.  I have always felt like I was super busy, like the crush of life was almost too much to bear.  The funny thing is, when I look back I can't believe I wasn't bored out of my mind then!  It's amazing how much pressure a full time job puts on you just from the perspective of time.  Having to get up and squeeze what feels like a full day of 'stuff' into the hours before you go to work and then again in the hours after the kids are in bed is crazy - but it is just you do when you're an adult.  Blargh, it sucks sometimes though.  Sometimes when I just veg out and watch football or a move I feel like I'm wasting so much time; it's so hard to remember that you absolutely must have down time.  

So, to add to the randomness, I'll talk about a movie I watched last night (between 2am and 5am while I was up suffering from a terrible sick stomach), "Forgetting Sarah Marshall."  First of all, it wasn't a great movie.  I think the gross out jokes have been done better and with more finesse but whatever.  It did get a lot better towards the end and I'll give it a thumbs up because I've been a sappy romantic of late.  As I was laying on the couch after the movie ended (trying not to poop my pants), I realized that the movie sort of touched me because it was similar to the story of how I fell in love with Aimee.  I know this is crazy, but I sort of had my own Sarah Marshall (though not nearly as attractive or wealthy as Veronica Mars and much, much taller).  I realized this when I heard the line in the movie where one of the guys described his relationship with Sarah Marshall as 'time served' or something like that.  I was totally whipped by my ex and it took her throwing me away to really free myself from her.  When I was recovering but still in love I met Aimee and she was totally the 'cool Hawaiian chick' from the movie.  Like the characters in the movie, we just sort of accidentally fell in love with each other and before I knew it I couldn't imagine life without her.  I'm not really sure what my Vampire puppet opera was but I'm sure I could come up with something if I tried really hard.  Either way, in the end I found my Aimee and there couldn't be anyone better for me :)  

Alright, have to go read about Indian immigrants - I can't wait to be done with school!

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Posted in: church,family,florida,foster care,friends,hobbies,home improvement,pregnancy,school,work

Dinner recipe posted

A Ham steak is something that we almost always have in our freezer. They're cheap and, being pork, relatively heart-healthy (mind the salt if you're sensitive!) Oftentimes we'll just thaw one out and throw it in the oven to broil but tonight I was in the mood for a little something extra so I volunteered to cook. Here is what came of it:

Ham Steak and Potatoes served with Steamed Green Beans

Make sure you save the piece with the ham bone in it for yourself, everyone thinks you're being magnanimous and they usually have no idea that it's the best meat on the steak.

Give it a go and tell me what you think!

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Posted in: cooking,hobbies,interests

I don't often do this...

But I just wanted to post a link to an article I read this morning that really touched me.  It says a lot of things I wish I could say about life.  It's funny how you can spend a lot of time writing things and never be fully convinced that it isn't absolute trash.  I'm glad sometimes that I have the courage to look like a total idiot.

So here it is: Photography, and the Tolerance for Courageous Sucking  courtesy of Merlin Mann at 43Folders

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Posted in: hobbies,interests

Prop 8 and its ilk, Foster Care

I can't stop being shocked and amazed at the passage of the various 'family protection' amendments in the recent election.  Whatever their opinion of the 'gay lifestyle' or homosexuality in general, I can't believe that anyone really believes that homosexual couples are dangerous to children.  Seriously, there are so many things that are really dangerous to children (Divorce, for one) that I can't imagine that anyone really believes this is the issue we should be pouring our resources into.   I feel like I have some right to speak on this issue because of the time I have spent caring for children that have been abused physically, mentally, and emotionally by good 'ole heterosexual couples (1 man AND 1 woman!).  What really drives me over the edge is the way that children are used as pawns in the game small-minded people play  in banning homosexuality.  The commercials that were aired during the campaign were disgraceful, showing pictures of children talking about how confusing it is to have two same-sex parents or equating homosexuals with pedophiles.  More disturbing than the amendments to ban marriage by homosexuals was the one in Arkansas that had the effect of banning homosexuals from being foster parents or adopting.  On the surface, these laws only prevent 'unmarried' people from serving in this manner, but the subtext is clear.  Stop thinking for a minute about homosexuality, what reason could there possibly be for preventing a single man or woman from adopting a child or serving as a foster parent?  I can't imagine how insulting this must be to single parents.  I have heard arguments that single parents or homosexual parents give children the wrong image of what a 'parent' should be.  Let me hit you with some knowledge.  Foster kids already have a wrong image of what parents should be.  'Parents', if they have any idea what that word means, are the people that hit you, the people who lay on the couch stoned while you starve to death, the people that let leave you at home alone with no water and no electricity while they go about their business.  If a foster parent, gay or straight, can get a kid to the point where they are ready to discuss ethics or sexual morality, they should be praised publicly and rewarded handsomely.  The fact that people who don't think it's appropriate to have homosexual parents taking care of foster children have obviously never even spoken with foster children.  Kids are too busy being amazed that they have food everyday, that they get to take showers (and that the water is hot!), that they might go through an entire day without being hit or being covered in their own feces.  This is reality folks.  Can you imagine the narrative of a child that pees their pants when they hear a door slam or asks you if you're coming back every time you walk out the front door.  How about someone that eats until they vomit because they have never been exposed to the concept of 'full' or 'enough'?  

I'm not saying every foster kid is like this, and we have certainly been lucky with what we have had to deal with.  What I'm saying is that unless you have had one of these children as a part of your life you had better shut the hell up.  Leave them out of the argument and thank your lucky starts that ANYONE wants to take care of these kids.  What do you think happens to the kids that 'age out' of the system at 18 never knowing anything other than emptiness? 

Alright, time to holster the soap box.   Here is a link to the Arkansas amendment on Ballotpedia and here is an article from someone that spoke at a civil rights march in protest to these types of amendments.

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Posted in: america,foster care,politics

Process Discipline

So, today I realized what my life has been missing. I think that this has come to me because I have started getting a taste of it and have begun to realize how important it is to me. Discipline. When I think back, the times when I have been healthiest, happiest, most productive; I have been the most disciplined. Disciplined with what I put in my body, what I do with my body, just how I live my life. At work we might call this process discipline. It's interesting when I think about how easy it is (relatively speaking) to take in foster kids and turn their lives around with just a little bit of discipline. I'm not even talking about discipline in terms of punishment or whatever, though it is amazing how a little dose of the time-out chair will turn children around. What I am talking about is the regular discipline of bathing, eating, brushing teeth, hugging, speaking, all of the hundreds of little things that we take for granted in life. Going to bed at the same time, having a set amount of time to eat dinner, feeding the dogs every day, these seem like such small little things but when are disciplined about doing them every day they can have a transformative effect on your life, or the life of your children. I hate to make this comparison, but I think children aren't that much different from dogs in that they crave structure and discipline. Having to feed the dogs every morning seems like a chore that you would regret but for children that have never been responsible for anything or had something they can count on every single day it can literally turn their whole life around. Children obviously learn so much faster than dogs and they pass through the phase and move onto greater challenges but I think that the comparison is valid for a certain stage of life.

At any rate, this is something that I am missing in my life.  Maybe instead of referring to it as discipline, I will refer to it as living an intentional life.  It's interesting to me that this is the terminology that we use in seminary and also the same that we used in Aikido.  Aikido is really what got me thinking about it.  I was the healthiest I have ever been when I was practicing and I have been missing it lately.  I don't think it was solely the physical activity, I believe that a big part of it was the intentional manner in which I went through my daily life when I was heavy into practice.  Taking off my shoes when I enter a house and placing them neatly against the wall instead of just lumping them into a basket.  Having a regiment of movements and exercises that I did at different times during the day.  I had a class in seminary that required a certain amount of this effort as well, and it produced similar results which leads me to believe that it is not solely physical in nature.  Waking up every morning and spending a short period of time in reflection.  Having a meditation that I performed every night before bed.  I have started modifying my life to be more intentional over the past month or so and I believe it has already caused things to turn around.  Simple things like the pill box I put together has gotten me on track with my medicine and vitamins, a simple evaluation of my spending every night has resulted in us having more money, with no noticeable change in lifestyle.  Riding the bus has introduced a regularity of schedule that has caused me to be more productive at work, I think.  All in all, I am going to be looking for more discipline (intention) in my life.  I hope that I will be able to share some of the benefits with family and friends...I am notoriously lazy so I hope I can maintain.  Hopefully writing here will only help things.  

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Posted in: exercise,foster care,hobbies,school,work